Sunday, February 22, 2009

Oh well

Well as you might know the T experiment is over and i am saddened to report that i am neither dead nor the ruler of a South American country, but i feel as if this experiment has spurred me on to greater and more challenging experiments. My buddy mike suggested that i take estrogen for a month, but this is nowhere near as appealing to me as the T plus it kinda . . . well . . . scares me. i'm crazy but not E crazy. No, no i have settled on a . . . safer idea.

Last winter my peeps and i constructed a sled (Isee Grav) and had an INCREDIBLE time with it. This winter came, but no snow, so we never had a chance to build another sled. So i have decided to build a spring sled. Yes that's correct a land luge. To facilitate this and the $3,700 i now owe Uncle Sam i have attained a second job. i will be pulling an additional 40 hours a week Sun, Mon, Wed, and Fridays 10:00 pm- 8am. This will help me stay honest with my "Odd Habit" decision. I plan on making a video to show the plan and construction of the luge, so be looking for that. I also need your help. Should the luge be name "Pushin' Up Daises" or "Fashionably Late" (Not that we arrive at a location attractively behind schedule, but that we Die with style; get it?)

Another unrelated note Check it out. I registered a while back and encourage you to do the same.

But no seriously i think i'm in love with Danielle. Check her out youtube "danielle ate the sandwich". my favs Wanderer, Afterwards, We are Hot Dogs, Dream a Little Dream of Me, Ode to Optophobia, Things We Have in Common, Handsome Girl

later 'gator

Thursday, February 12, 2009


HOLY FLYING MONKEY CRAP!! Within an hour and a half of taking my increased dosage of T this morning my heart was racing, my head spliting, i was short of breathe, dizy, and my eyes had problems picking something to focus on; i felt AMAZING. Its like i just got done playing a football game, i feel all beat up and really tired but fulfilled like the end of a hard days work. The day prceeded with only one altercation with wolfman however it did included a pair of drumsticks. I also found myself discussing the effectiveness of different forms of headlocks after ichthus. i am truly excited about ETOD2 i'll keep you up to date.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Something to think about

i don't know if you've heard, but March is "Start a Odd Habit that May be Hazardous to Your Health Month." Wow, where does the time go. It seems that just yesterday i was ending last year's odd habit. Be alert guys, i'm telling you this one sneaks right up on you. It is important to start thinking about your "Odd Habit" right now while there is still a little time. i can personally testify to having to run with a particularly bad Odd Habit for an entire month just because it was March 1st and you had nothing else. I understand if this is your first odd habit month it might be difficult to think of some good ones so i will take a little time out of my busy schedule to give you some examples of both good and bad odd habits.

Good Odd Habits that May be Hazardous to Your Health:
Wearing two different colored socks
Shave a different part of your face everyday
Run your windshield wipers when its not raining
Honk at all stop signs
Choose a common word or words and pronounce them incorrectly
Sing questionable songs loudly in public (ex. "its raining men")

Bad Odd Habits that May be Hazardous to Your Health
Skip where ever you go
Eat a piece of bologna everyday
Start a Troll collection
Flirt with members of the Police Department
Try to communicate using sign language

i think this is a sufficient base. If you come up with an idea and you are not sure whether its good or not you can shoot me a line and i'll set you straight. If you are interested i have decided that for this March i will only sleep on days whose name included the letter U.

T squared

First of all i would like to apologize for falling so far behind on the T updates i just didn't have anything to report. i am currently on TOD14, and up to this point i feel that i have had no undeniable T filled effects (besides my GREATLY inflated ego of course which can you really blame me for, i mean i am pretty amazing). Up to this point i have been . . . disappointed. i however blame this lack of "unquenchable rage" upon myself and only myself (the guys at the "T-Bomb" factory should count their lucky FREAKIN' stars that this one isn't coming back to them). When i read the bottle promising three times the normal amounts of T i assumed that they were talking to me, but after some careful thought i realized that no one at the "T-Bomb" factory could have known of the exceedingly high amounts of T already coursing through my extremely MANLY, tone, and rock hard body. Some interesting facts: i have read that men are considerably less sensitive to hormones then women. i also learned that the average man has 80 to 90 times the amount of T in his system than a woman. So back to the plot, since i have not had any noticeable effects i am as of tonight doubling my dosage. Advantages: when i walk down the street and see another guy i can say that i have at LEAST six times the amount of T that he does and if i see a woman i can say i have at least 480 times the amount of T then she does (at first i thought this would be a good pick-up line, but now i am starting to question it, i think i'll stick with the "how much does a penguin weigh?"). If nothing happens i will be done taking pills sooner.
So i am somewhat frightened that i might become a little. . . intense. Luckily i only have 7 increased doses, so within a week i will be either dead or the ruler of a small South American country. Only time will tell.

p.s. check out "Danielle Ate the Sandwich" on youtube. she is beautiful, talented, and pretty weird. She's batting three for three on my future mrs. ranger checklist

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

That Feeling

i had that feeling again today.
No matter how many times i find myself here it never really loses its . . . i have no idea what it is. I am sure you know the feeling that i am typing about. Its the ever quite yet ever present voice of God telling you to do something, or don't do something that you had you heart set on, no more than that. Like the feeling you get when God tells you to end a relationship that you think is going GREAT. You can almost hear your hopes and dreams falling down around you as if you are standing in a burning building. The finality is mind numbing. The very air your standing in feels like your tomb. You float there breathless the knees cut out from under you and the very bottom of you stomach is nowhere to be found. You feel completely and utterly hallow and alone. Yeah that feeling.
What is weirder though is how easy you can just . . . ignore that voice and just continue as if nothing has happened. Trust me, i have done it several times. The Lord will keep telling you about it, but you can build up a resistance if you will. Seeing it typed is painful, a "resistance" to the voice of GOD.

No matter how awful that sounds i still find myself constructing a dam in my mind to keep the floodwaters of the Lord's will at bay. i have learned in the past that this only works for a while and finally when the flood comes, its a damburst and complete detestation is unleashed upon me and unfortunately those closest to me causing far more pain than ever would have been endured in these early stages. My "religious mentor" (Scott Parnell), has expressed to me many times that the Lord will be JUST loud enough for you to hear. He will always be in the back of your mind. He is convinced that God tried to talk to Moses several times before the Burning bush, but Moses was always able to ignore Him or just shake it off as himself being a nut. Yet i still find myself cutting timber and making foundations for my dam. i have not yet done what He has told me not to, and i keep telling myself/Him that i will not, but i am still "flirting" with those things related to it. The CRAZIEST thing of all is that i am really not THAT attached to the idea that He has negated. Oddly enough though i still kind of pursue it. What is this within me that just seeks to go against the Lord. Is it just me?


Sorry i've fallen behind.
actually nothing really has happened. took a road trip with sledge and fifdy and my legs were a little more "antsy" than usual. Did some shooting on Sunday. i don't mean to toot me own horn but "toot toot" i am a pretty good shot. Prairie dogs actually tell their children stories about me around campfires, but anyway. my shooting on Sunday was ATROCIOUS! i began thinking. i know that woman, yes woman can be better shooters then men because their body chemistry creates a more stable base. Male snipers often take large doses of cold medicine before a op to slow down there systems and relax themselves. So i am going to attribute my TERRIBLE shooting to the fact that my T levels were jacked. Also i feel that the T is having little to no effect. i will continue the regular dosage until day 10 on which i will have a meeting of my peers (and possibly a nurse) and discuss bumping the dosage to 1.5. that is all for today.