Friday, April 24, 2009


i have insomnia and feel like blogging however i feel that i lack one good coherent thought to make a decent blog so i will instead take several of my past "almost posts" and run them together to make an indecent blog. a new topic will be set apart by its title inside dashes like this --new title--.

I had insomnia in high school. it hasn't bothered me much since then, but i fear that it is once again returning. Since i left the happy employ of dillion's store #15 (3 weeks on saturday) i have been able to fall asleep before 3 am once, and most often see the sunrise before i finally meet up with the good 'ole sand man. Where did we get the idea that we fall asleep because some weirdo comes to our room and dumps sand on us . . . ? anyway i digress. its weird for some reason i can only use small amounts of time for anything productive. i often find myself planning my actions in the case of a zombie invasion, or discovering that i can put my hair in pig tails (this is KINDA scary).

--Sad Songs & Waltzs--

Over the last month i have learned a great many things about myself. Some of these things i believe really apply only to me, but you may find some wisdom in one of them, so here they are.
When you need to stay awake: see how long you can go without blinking
dance as opposed to walk where you need to go
try to spell things you're working with backwards
When drinking a pale ale corn chips go with them great

--Square Peg--

A few days back i was cursed with the misfortune of thinking about my future, but unlike usual i realized that God could tell me what He had in store for me, in fact, i had a feeling that all i had to do was ask and He would happily reveal it to me. i started to ask, but a smile broke over my face and i looked heavenward, shook my head, "not a chance, i wouldn't want to spoil it" then i went back to worship.
a computer beat me at chess once, but as it turns out i'm a much better kick boxer.

--Summer Whoas--

i think that is the wrong kind of whoa, but i have no idea how to spell the other so you get the point. Although i am honestly glad to see the warmer weather come there are a few things i will miss. First of all FLANNEL, sweet mercy i miss my flannel from April to October. #2 it has been 50 degrees in our house (because we're cheap) since middle of October and now it will be 90 degrees (because we're cheap). Three sleeping in my bag. When it hits 90 i'm gonna hafta try to find some place to hang my hammock again. Also sledge will be moving into my room right after finals. i love this man a great deal and would do almost anything for him (a conversation i had with him and wolfman tonight about helping hide bodies proved that to me) but he SNORES. granted i do a little as well, or so i've been told, but that will stop once i get back to my normal weight.

--Life Goals--

i'd like to learn to play the harmonic well
i'd like to get my pilots license
i'd like to improve my omelet making skills
i'd like to . . . no, i think that covers it

--three two beer--

i am not sure why this bothers me, but it does. i was shopping for party supplies with wolfman at Whiskey Tango-Mart and while i was standing in one of many ridiculously long lines i noticed a number of people buying beer. i'm sure that this is a fairly common practice on a Saturday afternoon. Now i guess i don't have to big of a beef with those who are buying A six pack, but a lot of these "drinking age" wal-mart customers were loading up and some only had their beer. Now first its called a liquor store for a reason. second of all sweet mercy why spend 30 bucks on cases of NASTY 3.2 Bud Light when there are SO MANY BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED beers out there.

--past memories--

Today i grabbed my old mp3 player and my runnin' shoes and hit the pavement. Amongst my pain a few songs from my "past" slipped through,and i was amazed how these songs that i hadn't heard in years carried such an incredible weight of memories. So yeah, most of the songs linked to memories were about girls,but i think music is incredibly big part of relationships. If i were you this would be the point i would stop reading, but if you are really interested in the songs that have been hardwired to relationships of my past i guess keep reading.

Amy: Here Without You, 3 Doors Down
Iris, Goo Goo Dolls
Be Mine, Grits
This is My United States of Whatever, Liam Lynch
Break-up: Life After Lisa, Bowling For Soup

Alexandria: Bless the Broken Road, Rascall Flatts
Break-up: Be My Escape, Relient K

Jayme: 18th Floor Balcony, Blue October
Jamie, Weezer
Break-up: Where'd You Go, Fort Minor

Annalise: All Night Long, Lionel Richie

Other memories tied to songs:
Thad and Ash: More Than Words, Extreme
Thad's Batch Party: Canada, Five Iron Frenzy
Tennis Practice: Sufficiency of Grace, Greg Long

--i hate people--

i hate VERY few individual people, but our population as a whole, i despise. the majority of the people that make up this great country of ours fit into one of two groups 1. mindless sheep, they don't really care about what is going on in our government, as long as they can vote for their favorite american idol and complain about this "economy" they're content. 2 complainers this group is not content with things as they are and insist upon change however these complainers are by some strange twist of fate basically spread evenly on both sides of every issue, so that no matter what happens we always have the same number of complainers.

well that has been all my ramblings for the last couple weeks
hasta pasta
p.s. what time zone on God's green Earth is the clock at the bottom of these blogs set for. i posted this puppy at 4:38am.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A Big Tribute to a Little Dog

What is it about animals that allows us to create such a powerful bond? We cannot speak the same language, we don't view the world the same, and we share very few activities. We often find ourselves upset with the animal for a myriad of things. Eating or otherwise destroying an item that we found valuable, going to the bathroom not in the bathroom, or merely being that one last thing on a long day. They can be a constant drain on our finances needing, food and costing us additional rent, as well as the occasional vet bill or visit to the friendly animal control officer. When things are lined up like this its hard to believe that we would have anything to do with such an animal none the less seek out their companionship. But this is only half the list. The other half of the list is full of . . . well love. Animals provide us with an opportunity. An opportunity to be vulnerable to something no no someone, someone that will never betray us, someone that will love us no matter how well we did on or macroeconomics test or how many speeding tickets we've received. We allow animals to love us when we allow no one else, not even ourselves. They are there quietly waiting for an opportunity to do what they do best. This is quickly turning into a sappy gushy piece which i hope never to write, but i do want to remind those with pets to take a few moments tonight and appreciate them a little more. Buddy Spot Perkinson passed away This afternoon. This overweight beagle/basset mix squirmed his way into many a heart and i know he will be missed. Although he was not even my dog, but the dog of a friend, i already miss him greatly. i have no reservation in saying that this world is worse off without him.

Monday, March 9, 2009

sleep is for SUCKAS!

9:00am: Wake-up after a full 8 hours (YES). Start the day by unwinding, watch "The Core." Not really a good movie, but it keeps me from continuing my mid-term studying.
11:00am: Walk Buddy. Wolfman went to Chicago this week, so the fat old beagle has rarely left my side when i'm home and i take advantage of the beautiful morning to "take him out for a spin."
noon: Start mid-term studying which is researching 20 essay questions in the field of Environmental Ethics and writing a half page response to each. To keep my spirits high I am watching the 4th season of Macgyver in the back ground.
10:00pm: Jump in the shower, shave, trim nails, get into uniform, head to work.
11:00pm: Start work, work is a lot of running around frantic throwing boxes and dog food bags (no naps).
7:30am: Get off work drop Will off and head home.
8:00am: close my blinds, set my alarm and crash.
11:00am: Get up can continue studying (special thanks to Wildcard i would usually need to be at Capstone by 9:30, but I asked for some time to study/sleep.
noon: Head to class, take test do marginally well.
1:30pm: Head to an apartment to work for Capstone.
5:00pm: Get home, cook dinner for Sledge and I, began research outline for presentation.
7:30pm: CRASH with Buddy on the Love seat, yes both of us on that TINY THING.
9:00pm: Jump in the shower, shave, change into uniform, head to work.
10:00pm: Another great night of baking goods, and dog food.
6:30am: Get off work head home, kick Sledge to get him to go jogging with me. He won't. Call John "Wildcard" Creagar to see if he wants to work out. Finish beer i had opened with dinner a mere 12 hours ago.
7:10am: Wildcard show up, we head to the rec and pump iron P90X style.
8:30am: home for a shower
9:00am: accidental crash
11:00am: wake up late for work and class. head to work, then class,then a meeting, then back to work.
5:30pm: Home for a little grub, then some Chuck, then hitting the books again to work on a presentation.
8:00am: A few guys come over to play Rock Band.
Midnight: Spend sometime fallin' back in love with Danielle
1:30am: Off to bed with me, up tomorrow at 7:00am
see you then

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Oh well

Well as you might know the T experiment is over and i am saddened to report that i am neither dead nor the ruler of a South American country, but i feel as if this experiment has spurred me on to greater and more challenging experiments. My buddy mike suggested that i take estrogen for a month, but this is nowhere near as appealing to me as the T plus it kinda . . . well . . . scares me. i'm crazy but not E crazy. No, no i have settled on a . . . safer idea.

Last winter my peeps and i constructed a sled (Isee Grav) and had an INCREDIBLE time with it. This winter came, but no snow, so we never had a chance to build another sled. So i have decided to build a spring sled. Yes that's correct a land luge. To facilitate this and the $3,700 i now owe Uncle Sam i have attained a second job. i will be pulling an additional 40 hours a week Sun, Mon, Wed, and Fridays 10:00 pm- 8am. This will help me stay honest with my "Odd Habit" decision. I plan on making a video to show the plan and construction of the luge, so be looking for that. I also need your help. Should the luge be name "Pushin' Up Daises" or "Fashionably Late" (Not that we arrive at a location attractively behind schedule, but that we Die with style; get it?)

Another unrelated note Check it out. I registered a while back and encourage you to do the same.

But no seriously i think i'm in love with Danielle. Check her out youtube "danielle ate the sandwich". my favs Wanderer, Afterwards, We are Hot Dogs, Dream a Little Dream of Me, Ode to Optophobia, Things We Have in Common, Handsome Girl

later 'gator

Thursday, February 12, 2009


HOLY FLYING MONKEY CRAP!! Within an hour and a half of taking my increased dosage of T this morning my heart was racing, my head spliting, i was short of breathe, dizy, and my eyes had problems picking something to focus on; i felt AMAZING. Its like i just got done playing a football game, i feel all beat up and really tired but fulfilled like the end of a hard days work. The day prceeded with only one altercation with wolfman however it did included a pair of drumsticks. I also found myself discussing the effectiveness of different forms of headlocks after ichthus. i am truly excited about ETOD2 i'll keep you up to date.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Something to think about

i don't know if you've heard, but March is "Start a Odd Habit that May be Hazardous to Your Health Month." Wow, where does the time go. It seems that just yesterday i was ending last year's odd habit. Be alert guys, i'm telling you this one sneaks right up on you. It is important to start thinking about your "Odd Habit" right now while there is still a little time. i can personally testify to having to run with a particularly bad Odd Habit for an entire month just because it was March 1st and you had nothing else. I understand if this is your first odd habit month it might be difficult to think of some good ones so i will take a little time out of my busy schedule to give you some examples of both good and bad odd habits.

Good Odd Habits that May be Hazardous to Your Health:
Wearing two different colored socks
Shave a different part of your face everyday
Run your windshield wipers when its not raining
Honk at all stop signs
Choose a common word or words and pronounce them incorrectly
Sing questionable songs loudly in public (ex. "its raining men")

Bad Odd Habits that May be Hazardous to Your Health
Skip where ever you go
Eat a piece of bologna everyday
Start a Troll collection
Flirt with members of the Police Department
Try to communicate using sign language

i think this is a sufficient base. If you come up with an idea and you are not sure whether its good or not you can shoot me a line and i'll set you straight. If you are interested i have decided that for this March i will only sleep on days whose name included the letter U.

T squared

First of all i would like to apologize for falling so far behind on the T updates i just didn't have anything to report. i am currently on TOD14, and up to this point i feel that i have had no undeniable T filled effects (besides my GREATLY inflated ego of course which can you really blame me for, i mean i am pretty amazing). Up to this point i have been . . . disappointed. i however blame this lack of "unquenchable rage" upon myself and only myself (the guys at the "T-Bomb" factory should count their lucky FREAKIN' stars that this one isn't coming back to them). When i read the bottle promising three times the normal amounts of T i assumed that they were talking to me, but after some careful thought i realized that no one at the "T-Bomb" factory could have known of the exceedingly high amounts of T already coursing through my extremely MANLY, tone, and rock hard body. Some interesting facts: i have read that men are considerably less sensitive to hormones then women. i also learned that the average man has 80 to 90 times the amount of T in his system than a woman. So back to the plot, since i have not had any noticeable effects i am as of tonight doubling my dosage. Advantages: when i walk down the street and see another guy i can say that i have at LEAST six times the amount of T that he does and if i see a woman i can say i have at least 480 times the amount of T then she does (at first i thought this would be a good pick-up line, but now i am starting to question it, i think i'll stick with the "how much does a penguin weigh?"). If nothing happens i will be done taking pills sooner.
So i am somewhat frightened that i might become a little. . . intense. Luckily i only have 7 increased doses, so within a week i will be either dead or the ruler of a small South American country. Only time will tell.

p.s. check out "Danielle Ate the Sandwich" on youtube. she is beautiful, talented, and pretty weird. She's batting three for three on my future mrs. ranger checklist