First of all i would like to apologize for falling so far behind on the T updates i just didn't have anything to report. i am currently on TOD14, and up to this point i feel that i have had no undeniable T filled effects (besides my GREATLY inflated ego of course which can you really blame me for, i mean i am pretty amazing). Up to this point i have been . . . disappointed. i however blame this lack of "unquenchable rage" upon myself and only myself (the guys at the "T-Bomb" factory should count their lucky FREAKIN' stars that this one isn't coming back to them). When i read the bottle promising three times the normal amounts of T i assumed that they were talking to me, but after some careful thought i realized that no one at the "T-Bomb" factory could have known of the exceedingly high amounts of T already coursing through my extremely MANLY, tone, and rock hard body. Some interesting facts: i have read that men are considerably less sensitive to hormones then women. i also learned that the average man has 80 to 90 times the amount of T in his system than a woman. So back to the plot, since i have not had any noticeable effects i am as of tonight doubling my dosage. Advantages: when i walk down the street and see another guy i can say that i have at LEAST six times the amount of T that he does and if i see a woman i can say i have at least 480 times the amount of T then she does (at first i thought this would be a good pick-up line, but now i am starting to question it, i think i'll stick with the "how much does a penguin weigh?"). If nothing happens i will be done taking pills sooner.
So i am somewhat frightened that i might become a little. . . intense. Luckily i only have 7 increased doses, so within a week i will be either dead or the ruler of a small South American country. Only time will tell.
p.s. check out "Danielle Ate the Sandwich" on youtube. she is beautiful, talented, and pretty weird. She's batting three for three on my future mrs. ranger checklist
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
That Feeling
i had that feeling again today.
No matter how many times i find myself here it never really loses its . . . i have no idea what it is. I am sure you know the feeling that i am typing about. Its the ever quite yet ever present voice of God telling you to do something, or don't do something that you had you heart set on, no more than that. Like the feeling you get when God tells you to end a relationship that you think is going GREAT. You can almost hear your hopes and dreams falling down around you as if you are standing in a burning building. The finality is mind numbing. The very air your standing in feels like your tomb. You float there breathless the knees cut out from under you and the very bottom of you stomach is nowhere to be found. You feel completely and utterly hallow and alone. Yeah that feeling.
What is weirder though is how easy you can just . . . ignore that voice and just continue as if nothing has happened. Trust me, i have done it several times. The Lord will keep telling you about it, but you can build up a resistance if you will. Seeing it typed is painful, a "resistance" to the voice of GOD.
No matter how awful that sounds i still find myself constructing a dam in my mind to keep the floodwaters of the Lord's will at bay. i have learned in the past that this only works for a while and finally when the flood comes, its a damburst and complete detestation is unleashed upon me and unfortunately those closest to me causing far more pain than ever would have been endured in these early stages. My "religious mentor" (Scott Parnell), has expressed to me many times that the Lord will be JUST loud enough for you to hear. He will always be in the back of your mind. He is convinced that God tried to talk to Moses several times before the Burning bush, but Moses was always able to ignore Him or just shake it off as himself being a nut. Yet i still find myself cutting timber and making foundations for my dam. i have not yet done what He has told me not to, and i keep telling myself/Him that i will not, but i am still "flirting" with those things related to it. The CRAZIEST thing of all is that i am really not THAT attached to the idea that He has negated. Oddly enough though i still kind of pursue it. What is this within me that just seeks to go against the Lord. Is it just me?
No matter how many times i find myself here it never really loses its . . . i have no idea what it is. I am sure you know the feeling that i am typing about. Its the ever quite yet ever present voice of God telling you to do something, or don't do something that you had you heart set on, no more than that. Like the feeling you get when God tells you to end a relationship that you think is going GREAT. You can almost hear your hopes and dreams falling down around you as if you are standing in a burning building. The finality is mind numbing. The very air your standing in feels like your tomb. You float there breathless the knees cut out from under you and the very bottom of you stomach is nowhere to be found. You feel completely and utterly hallow and alone. Yeah that feeling.
What is weirder though is how easy you can just . . . ignore that voice and just continue as if nothing has happened. Trust me, i have done it several times. The Lord will keep telling you about it, but you can build up a resistance if you will. Seeing it typed is painful, a "resistance" to the voice of GOD.
No matter how awful that sounds i still find myself constructing a dam in my mind to keep the floodwaters of the Lord's will at bay. i have learned in the past that this only works for a while and finally when the flood comes, its a damburst and complete detestation is unleashed upon me and unfortunately those closest to me causing far more pain than ever would have been endured in these early stages. My "religious mentor" (Scott Parnell), has expressed to me many times that the Lord will be JUST loud enough for you to hear. He will always be in the back of your mind. He is convinced that God tried to talk to Moses several times before the Burning bush, but Moses was always able to ignore Him or just shake it off as himself being a nut. Yet i still find myself cutting timber and making foundations for my dam. i have not yet done what He has told me not to, and i keep telling myself/Him that i will not, but i am still "flirting" with those things related to it. The CRAZIEST thing of all is that i am really not THAT attached to the idea that He has negated. Oddly enough though i still kind of pursue it. What is this within me that just seeks to go against the Lord. Is it just me?
TOD4,5
Sorry i've fallen behind.
actually nothing really has happened. took a road trip with sledge and fifdy and my legs were a little more "antsy" than usual. Did some shooting on Sunday. i don't mean to toot me own horn but "toot toot" i am a pretty good shot. Prairie dogs actually tell their children stories about me around campfires, but anyway. my shooting on Sunday was ATROCIOUS! i began thinking. i know that woman, yes woman can be better shooters then men because their body chemistry creates a more stable base. Male snipers often take large doses of cold medicine before a op to slow down there systems and relax themselves. So i am going to attribute my TERRIBLE shooting to the fact that my T levels were jacked. Also i feel that the T is having little to no effect. i will continue the regular dosage until day 10 on which i will have a meeting of my peers (and possibly a nurse) and discuss bumping the dosage to 1.5. that is all for today.
actually nothing really has happened. took a road trip with sledge and fifdy and my legs were a little more "antsy" than usual. Did some shooting on Sunday. i don't mean to toot me own horn but "toot toot" i am a pretty good shot. Prairie dogs actually tell their children stories about me around campfires, but anyway. my shooting on Sunday was ATROCIOUS! i began thinking. i know that woman, yes woman can be better shooters then men because their body chemistry creates a more stable base. Male snipers often take large doses of cold medicine before a op to slow down there systems and relax themselves. So i am going to attribute my TERRIBLE shooting to the fact that my T levels were jacked. Also i feel that the T is having little to no effect. i will continue the regular dosage until day 10 on which i will have a meeting of my peers (and possibly a nurse) and discuss bumping the dosage to 1.5. that is all for today.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
TOD3
Jan 31, 2009
nothing really important or exciting. did a little research regarding TESTOSTERONE and what it might be doing to my body. The experiment continues as scheduled.
nothing really important or exciting. did a little research regarding TESTOSTERONE and what it might be doing to my body. The experiment continues as scheduled.
Friday, January 30, 2009
TOD2
Jan 30, 2009
Woke up, played racquetball with wildcard (john creagar) then returned home to make breakfast. my new diet is heavy on protein, so i slice a couple chunks off a pork loin and threw it in the pan, then proceeded to wash dishes, when it came time to turn the pork there were no utensils available, so i just used my hand (very quickly). Although i have never done this before i don't think its to far off the norm. Then to work, and class, nothing of interest besides how INCREDIBLY hungry i was all day. After class things got interesting spent sometime on my heavy bag, it felt GOOD, then the rest of the night could be summed up with the word anger. Playing Jenga while on T is an incredible experience which ended with me assaulting the other players with the blocks. anyway friends and i continued to play video games with a silent rage ever growing every time i lost at Mortal kombat/DC comics. I got to the point where i realized i needed to give the remote to someone else quickly. then home to bed still a little angry. tomorrow i'm fishing, this could be interesting.
peace out.
Woke up, played racquetball with wildcard (john creagar) then returned home to make breakfast. my new diet is heavy on protein, so i slice a couple chunks off a pork loin and threw it in the pan, then proceeded to wash dishes, when it came time to turn the pork there were no utensils available, so i just used my hand (very quickly). Although i have never done this before i don't think its to far off the norm. Then to work, and class, nothing of interest besides how INCREDIBLY hungry i was all day. After class things got interesting spent sometime on my heavy bag, it felt GOOD, then the rest of the night could be summed up with the word anger. Playing Jenga while on T is an incredible experience which ended with me assaulting the other players with the blocks. anyway friends and i continued to play video games with a silent rage ever growing every time i lost at Mortal kombat/DC comics. I got to the point where i realized i needed to give the remote to someone else quickly. then home to bed still a little angry. tomorrow i'm fishing, this could be interesting.
peace out.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
TESTOSTERONE Overload Day 1
As i open my bottle of swallowable capsuled manliness this morning i was embraced by a smell. Not exactly the smell i would label "man," but a smell equally as foul. Today i also started my training diet. That's right, for the next 3 months i will be miserably hungry while pursuing "physical fitness." On an unrelated topic there is indeed a trick to eating raw collard greens or any leafy vegetable and if any would like to know it i would be happy to share. But now on to the buiz
Jan 29, 2009 TESTOSTERONE Overload Day 1 (TOD1)
I took my pills today shortly before noon and proceeded to have a lunch of dehydrated mango chunks and a 4oz fillet of cod which did indeed explode in the microwave this made it considerable harder to eat. I had to literally reach into the microwave and peel small pieces of fish of the interior before consuming them. I would like to contribute this to TESTOSTERONE (from now on T) but i have done very similar actions in the past unaided by additional male hormones. I then grabbed a handful of raw collard greens and hit the door for class. i believe this is a good time to express a concern. It is possible that i will indeed be "changing" but since it is a chemical thing for me i might not even realize it. so i have decided to type about everything and you can decided. case in point: i do admit it was more difficult than usual to ignore my EXTREMELY beautiful teammate in class, but i don't think anything to out of the ordinary. Later that day i did have some odd colored . . . (sorry). Played a few video games (i really don't play that much, but i think this might have some visible effects with the T, do you understand?) perhaps less exciting than yesterday. Ichthus, nothing, back to work, nothing, home maybe a little restless. That's the day, more tomorrow
Jan 29, 2009 TESTOSTERONE Overload Day 1 (TOD1)
I took my pills today shortly before noon and proceeded to have a lunch of dehydrated mango chunks and a 4oz fillet of cod which did indeed explode in the microwave this made it considerable harder to eat. I had to literally reach into the microwave and peel small pieces of fish of the interior before consuming them. I would like to contribute this to TESTOSTERONE (from now on T) but i have done very similar actions in the past unaided by additional male hormones. I then grabbed a handful of raw collard greens and hit the door for class. i believe this is a good time to express a concern. It is possible that i will indeed be "changing" but since it is a chemical thing for me i might not even realize it. so i have decided to type about everything and you can decided. case in point: i do admit it was more difficult than usual to ignore my EXTREMELY beautiful teammate in class, but i don't think anything to out of the ordinary. Later that day i did have some odd colored . . . (sorry). Played a few video games (i really don't play that much, but i think this might have some visible effects with the T, do you understand?) perhaps less exciting than yesterday. Ichthus, nothing, back to work, nothing, home maybe a little restless. That's the day, more tomorrow
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
T-BOMB Experiment
While my roommate Wolfman and myself were visiting our local General Nutrition Center (GNC) in Manhattan's lovely Towne Center Mall he happed upon a product. This product PEAKED our interest, and created a BURNING desire within me to have a little "social experiment."
The product as you may have guessed by now is named T-BOMB. This product is a supplement. "What kind of supplement ranger?" you might ask. in which i would respond . . . "a TESTOSTERONE supplement! HELL to the YA, BABY!!!!!" After a little math we discovered that there was a 28 day supply of T-BOMB which boasted not to "increase", not to "double", but to TRIPLE TESTOSTERONE levels in your body while reducing that pesky, woosy estrogen.
So the experiment . . . i decided that i will write one blog now discussing my general feelings and moods then for the next 28 day i will take these supplements and try to continue recording my thoughts/feelings/carnage(s) for as long as i am able to operate a computer without slipping into a fit of blind rage and throwing it and the toilet at a passing UPS van. I will then try to continue the blog if not incarcerated by this time to discuss the "downhill side" after the drug . . . i mean supplement runs out.
So your first question might be, "Is it safe?"
My response, "WHO CARES! its T!" But no seriously TESTOSTERONE has been found to be a "controlled substance" which means those taking these supplements could become addicted to TESTOSTERONE. That's right you heard it here it is addicting to be a male. Luckily i already am one so on to question two.
"Are you taking any precautionary measures."
answer "Yes." I would like to apologize in advance to all of those who deal with me regularly for any excessive "Manliness" i might exhibit during the course of this experiment. This is the cost of science, and i am willing to pay it (i certainly hope you are too). John i am sorry, but the whole "Fix thing" criteria of the job might not work for me especially if it doesn't fly after the first time. Secondly i have also discussed the experiment at length with one of my roommates. The others will unfortunately be part of the "control group" and will not be told until it is far to late to purchase helmets, cups, clubs, or even deadbolts.
"Any hypothesises?"
I believe that there will be heightened levels of aggression, and apathy. Most likely shorter amounts of patience and longer amounts of "Kick Ass." My desire for fruits and vegetables will reach an ALL TIME LOW while my red meat cravings will possibly send me casing cattle or jumping head long into one of those refrigerator displays at our local supermarket. Possibly the "supplement" would allow me to sleep less while hopelessly devastating more! Then the whole ego thing could be interesting too. Lets not forget hairiness or body odors, two other areas i am planning to see myself in peak performance in. Then of course flight is always a possibility as well.
Any further questions . . . alright let us begin.
Jan 28th 2009
i woke up late, went to work. Ended up a little frustrated at a closet i was painting, but no altercations. I proceeded to class uneventfully able to keep focused for a majority of the time. Then home to play shooting video games with moderate enjoyment and little to no bloodlust. Went shopping, then to the bars with Wolfman (slightly less interesting since i no longer drink), then to dillion's for lunch with Sledge. I bought a bunch of 5 tiny bananas which i am sure were a hybridization between cucumbers and cotton. Although i am upset with my purchase not so much as to express it physically. Then i returned home and eventually off to bed.
The product as you may have guessed by now is named T-BOMB. This product is a supplement. "What kind of supplement ranger?" you might ask. in which i would respond . . . "a TESTOSTERONE supplement! HELL to the YA, BABY!!!!!" After a little math we discovered that there was a 28 day supply of T-BOMB which boasted not to "increase", not to "double", but to TRIPLE TESTOSTERONE levels in your body while reducing that pesky, woosy estrogen.
So the experiment . . . i decided that i will write one blog now discussing my general feelings and moods then for the next 28 day i will take these supplements and try to continue recording my thoughts/feelings/carnage(s) for as long as i am able to operate a computer without slipping into a fit of blind rage and throwing it and the toilet at a passing UPS van. I will then try to continue the blog if not incarcerated by this time to discuss the "downhill side" after the drug . . . i mean supplement runs out.
So your first question might be, "Is it safe?"
My response, "WHO CARES! its T!" But no seriously TESTOSTERONE has been found to be a "controlled substance" which means those taking these supplements could become addicted to TESTOSTERONE. That's right you heard it here it is addicting to be a male. Luckily i already am one so on to question two.
"Are you taking any precautionary measures."
answer "Yes." I would like to apologize in advance to all of those who deal with me regularly for any excessive "Manliness" i might exhibit during the course of this experiment. This is the cost of science, and i am willing to pay it (i certainly hope you are too). John i am sorry, but the whole "Fix thing" criteria of the job might not work for me especially if it doesn't fly after the first time. Secondly i have also discussed the experiment at length with one of my roommates. The others will unfortunately be part of the "control group" and will not be told until it is far to late to purchase helmets, cups, clubs, or even deadbolts.
"Any hypothesises?"
I believe that there will be heightened levels of aggression, and apathy. Most likely shorter amounts of patience and longer amounts of "Kick Ass." My desire for fruits and vegetables will reach an ALL TIME LOW while my red meat cravings will possibly send me casing cattle or jumping head long into one of those refrigerator displays at our local supermarket. Possibly the "supplement" would allow me to sleep less while hopelessly devastating more! Then the whole ego thing could be interesting too. Lets not forget hairiness or body odors, two other areas i am planning to see myself in peak performance in. Then of course flight is always a possibility as well.
Any further questions . . . alright let us begin.
Jan 28th 2009
i woke up late, went to work. Ended up a little frustrated at a closet i was painting, but no altercations. I proceeded to class uneventfully able to keep focused for a majority of the time. Then home to play shooting video games with moderate enjoyment and little to no bloodlust. Went shopping, then to the bars with Wolfman (slightly less interesting since i no longer drink), then to dillion's for lunch with Sledge. I bought a bunch of 5 tiny bananas which i am sure were a hybridization between cucumbers and cotton. Although i am upset with my purchase not so much as to express it physically. Then i returned home and eventually off to bed.
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